It breaks my heart.
Love. (period)
That's it. Just love.
It's the subject, the verb, the adjective, the adverb... it's everything.
Love.
It's motherhood
Children
Family
Belly Laughs
Giggles
Tears
Dimples
Hugs that are too tight
Kisses with extra-puckered lips
Secrets
Lessons (hard, hard lessons)
Pizza on random Tuesday nights
LOTS of math (4th grade math is hard.)
Singing (loud and off-key)
Reading I'll Love You Forever and not being able to get through it without tears (and not "sweet tears", big loud hiccupy, sobbing tears)
Giving an Emmy worthy performance during the 516th reading of Green Eggs and Ham
Songs after bath time
Snuggles at 5 am
Pinkie promises (over silly nothing, and very important everything)
Uncomfortable conversations
Being there. (Wherever there happens to be.)
It's now
It's then
It's someday
It's always
It's forever (the real, tangible forever)
It means there will never be enough words... so why try?
Love.
It says it all
Love.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Dear Other Mother,
It's hard to make me really angry. I don't "do" angry very well. I'm a passive person. I hate confrontation. I avoid it at all costs. But I will never, ever avoid it with your or your child. Consider yourself warned.
It was just a scratch. Just a scratch that reached from her delicate little elbow, down the entire length of her forearm and half-way across her perfect second finger. "Just a scratch" that swelled, angry and red. "Just a scratch" that cut across her perfectly smooth skin with little beads of blood fighting their way through. "Just a scratch" that a ten year old boy put on my daughter. Not by accident. Not in a sports situation or during playground craziness.
A scratch that was meant to get her attention. He has a "crush" on her. She was talking to the girls outside of church... giving him very minimal attention. So he "lightly hit her arm" and then SCRATCHED her to get her attention.
Another girl (his SISTER) went to get an adult. The adult got his mother. She told him to apologize. No one said a word to me. Until halfway home from Sunday school when my little girl told me a boy hurt her. I am stunned by this. STUNNED. That this woman, this MOTHER, felt no need to talk to me... to apologize... to assure me it would never happen again... nothing.
Maybe I'm overreacting... but I don't' think I am.
In fact, I'm willing to put myself out on a Mom ledge and say I'm not.
Because it's not okay. It's NOT okay for a boy to put his hands on my daughter. It's NOT okay for her to be hurt and then for it to be pacified because he "likes her".
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? That is one of the most disgusting excuses I've ever heard. So excuse me, mother who thinks it's okay for your TEN YEAR OLD SON to hurt girls, don't feed that line to my daughter.
Don't you DARE imply to my daughter that if a boy likes her he might hurt her... that it's okay if he didn't mean to hurt her. Maybe you're only looking at the here-and-now. Maybe you aren't concerned about the future... five years from now, or ten, or fifteen. I AM.
I am doing my best to raise a strong, confident girl who will know that it is NEVER, EVER okay for anyone to put their hands on her.
I don't ever want her to make an excuse for someone putting her through pain.
I want her to know her worth.
I have devoted years and will devote many, many more years of my life to teaching her that people who "like her" or love her will treat her like she is precious and will protect and care for her.
I'm not "one of those moms" who overreacts at every little thing. I'm really not. I picked up my three year old from preschool on Friday to find a swollen eye and bloody spot on his cheek. THIS was a playground "accident"... a learning experience. Another three year old who hasn't mastered impulse control hit him (four times!!) with a bucket. I kissed him. I put a band aid on his face. I lathered him with Neosporin and Mederma . I did not overreact. I told the teacher "they are only three"... "these things happen" (and I took comfort and satisfaction in her anger and assurance that they would not let it happen again.) I did not overreact.
(...And for the record both of my three year old boys can explain to you that "girls are delicate" and that "boys have to be careful with girls".)
However, if your obnoxious son, or anyone else for that matter, EVER puts his hands on my daughter again I promise to overreact.
I promise to make a BIG, HUGE deal about it.
Start parenting.
Start talking to your son about boundaries, and appropriateness, and maybe even the definition of assault.
Talk to him about how to be a gentleman.
Teach him how to show a girl he likes her without hurting her.
Teach him to be kind.
Teach him to be witty.
Teach him something!!
And if you can't manage this, just teach him to keep his paws off my daughter because I won't dissipate my anger with blogging next time.
It was just a scratch. Just a scratch that reached from her delicate little elbow, down the entire length of her forearm and half-way across her perfect second finger. "Just a scratch" that swelled, angry and red. "Just a scratch" that cut across her perfectly smooth skin with little beads of blood fighting their way through. "Just a scratch" that a ten year old boy put on my daughter. Not by accident. Not in a sports situation or during playground craziness.
A scratch that was meant to get her attention. He has a "crush" on her. She was talking to the girls outside of church... giving him very minimal attention. So he "lightly hit her arm" and then SCRATCHED her to get her attention.
Another girl (his SISTER) went to get an adult. The adult got his mother. She told him to apologize. No one said a word to me. Until halfway home from Sunday school when my little girl told me a boy hurt her. I am stunned by this. STUNNED. That this woman, this MOTHER, felt no need to talk to me... to apologize... to assure me it would never happen again... nothing.
Maybe I'm overreacting... but I don't' think I am.
In fact, I'm willing to put myself out on a Mom ledge and say I'm not.
Because it's not okay. It's NOT okay for a boy to put his hands on my daughter. It's NOT okay for her to be hurt and then for it to be pacified because he "likes her".
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? That is one of the most disgusting excuses I've ever heard. So excuse me, mother who thinks it's okay for your TEN YEAR OLD SON to hurt girls, don't feed that line to my daughter.
Don't you DARE imply to my daughter that if a boy likes her he might hurt her... that it's okay if he didn't mean to hurt her. Maybe you're only looking at the here-and-now. Maybe you aren't concerned about the future... five years from now, or ten, or fifteen. I AM.
I am doing my best to raise a strong, confident girl who will know that it is NEVER, EVER okay for anyone to put their hands on her.
I don't ever want her to make an excuse for someone putting her through pain.
I want her to know her worth.
I have devoted years and will devote many, many more years of my life to teaching her that people who "like her" or love her will treat her like she is precious and will protect and care for her.
I'm not "one of those moms" who overreacts at every little thing. I'm really not. I picked up my three year old from preschool on Friday to find a swollen eye and bloody spot on his cheek. THIS was a playground "accident"... a learning experience. Another three year old who hasn't mastered impulse control hit him (four times!!) with a bucket. I kissed him. I put a band aid on his face. I lathered him with Neosporin and Mederma . I did not overreact. I told the teacher "they are only three"... "these things happen" (and I took comfort and satisfaction in her anger and assurance that they would not let it happen again.) I did not overreact.
(...And for the record both of my three year old boys can explain to you that "girls are delicate" and that "boys have to be careful with girls".)
However, if your obnoxious son, or anyone else for that matter, EVER puts his hands on my daughter again I promise to overreact.
I promise to make a BIG, HUGE deal about it.
Start parenting.
Start talking to your son about boundaries, and appropriateness, and maybe even the definition of assault.
Talk to him about how to be a gentleman.
Teach him how to show a girl he likes her without hurting her.
Teach him to be kind.
Teach him to be witty.
Teach him something!!
And if you can't manage this, just teach him to keep his paws off my daughter because I won't dissipate my anger with blogging next time.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Merry Christmas!
Lots of updating to do soon! I'm hoping to "catch up" this year before next year starts :) Get ready for lots of random posts!
But today is full of wrapping, & baking... getting ready to soak up the people I love the most for a few special days. Happy Holidays!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
My Uncle
Family.
I am very blessed to have a wonderful family. I have a loving husband. I have beautiful children. I have amazing parents. I have a sister, cousins, aunts, and uncles. I’m lucky to be a Ward and even though my last name might have changed the Ward blood that pulses through my veins means I GET IT. I get family. I know what it means and what it’s worth. And I believe that started with Jimmy.
Jimmy made family a verb.
It’s not a noun. A noun can be passive. It can just be there in the background. Jimmy made sure that Wards knew that family is never passive. It’s never “in the background”.
It’s what you DO. It’s being there. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Family is laughing and arguing. It’s Baptisms and Thanksgivings. It’s long train rides to visit little brothers in an orphanage. It’s carving out a little part of the world, keeping it safe, and making it sacred.
Over 50 years ago Jimmy made a decision to be a family. There was nothing passive about it. He did it on purpose. He decided that no matter how difficult a road it might be, or how many odds were stacked against him, he was going to keep his little family of brothers together. Maybe not in a physical way, but in the way that really matters.
I believe that decision was the driving force ….
Four brothers that Jimmy decided would remain FAMILY. The four Ward brothers each had successful careers and happy marriages. These four brothers were the devoted fathers of 10 children (and I have been blessed to be one of them). Four brothers who watched the 10 children make their first communions, play baseball, graduate college, get married, and begin raising a new generation of 25 children (so far).
Three of those children are mine. Jimmy’s decision over 50 years ago has shaped my little family in so many ways. I truly believe my journey to motherhood… to Kirsten… began when Jimmy was 18 years old.
Today I’m sad. But when I think about Jimmy I’m going to smile. I’m going to remember the pure delight he took in watching my son’s temper tantrum last Christmas… the letter that my dad wrote to Jimmy while he was in Vietnam… thanking him for money and politely asking him to send more … I’m going to remember how he called Kirsten “the baby” for so many years and how filled with love and pride those two words sounded. I’m going to continue trying to be like Jimmy… continue holding the people I love close… continue thanking God for the DECISION of family he made and the gifts he gave us all through that decision.
I am very blessed to have a wonderful family. I have a loving husband. I have beautiful children. I have amazing parents. I have a sister, cousins, aunts, and uncles. I’m lucky to be a Ward and even though my last name might have changed the Ward blood that pulses through my veins means I GET IT. I get family. I know what it means and what it’s worth. And I believe that started with Jimmy.
Jimmy made family a verb.
It’s not a noun. A noun can be passive. It can just be there in the background. Jimmy made sure that Wards knew that family is never passive. It’s never “in the background”.
It’s what you DO. It’s being there. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Family is laughing and arguing. It’s Baptisms and Thanksgivings. It’s long train rides to visit little brothers in an orphanage. It’s carving out a little part of the world, keeping it safe, and making it sacred.
Over 50 years ago Jimmy made a decision to be a family. There was nothing passive about it. He did it on purpose. He decided that no matter how difficult a road it might be, or how many odds were stacked against him, he was going to keep his little family of brothers together. Maybe not in a physical way, but in the way that really matters.
I believe that decision was the driving force ….
Four brothers that Jimmy decided would remain FAMILY. The four Ward brothers each had successful careers and happy marriages. These four brothers were the devoted fathers of 10 children (and I have been blessed to be one of them). Four brothers who watched the 10 children make their first communions, play baseball, graduate college, get married, and begin raising a new generation of 25 children (so far).
Three of those children are mine. Jimmy’s decision over 50 years ago has shaped my little family in so many ways. I truly believe my journey to motherhood… to Kirsten… began when Jimmy was 18 years old.
Today I’m sad. But when I think about Jimmy I’m going to smile. I’m going to remember the pure delight he took in watching my son’s temper tantrum last Christmas… the letter that my dad wrote to Jimmy while he was in Vietnam… thanking him for money and politely asking him to send more … I’m going to remember how he called Kirsten “the baby” for so many years and how filled with love and pride those two words sounded. I’m going to continue trying to be like Jimmy… continue holding the people I love close… continue thanking God for the DECISION of family he made and the gifts he gave us all through that decision.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Snuggle Up and Read!
There are So many things I love about my new school! I love being in the same building with my girl all day everyday. I love my students and colleagues. AND I love being in such a happy, child centered environment. This is the kind of school that has almost 200 people show up in their pajamas to read holiday stories, sing carols, and enjoy being together over hot cocoa.
We had a GREAT time.
Team Taylor in our jammies :)
My loves enjoying holiday stories. Don't the boys look big??
Kirsten was THRILLED to have an opportunity to show off her new American Girl to her friends :)
We had a GREAT time.
Team Taylor in our jammies :)
Our first visit with Santa of the season. I was so happy that the twins weren't afraid at all!
My loves enjoying holiday stories. Don't the boys look big??
Kirsten was THRILLED to have an opportunity to show off her new American Girl to her friends :)
We had so much fun! This year I enjoyed being "Mommy"... next year I might volunteer to read... but I loved just soaking up the night and snapping pictures of my little ones this time :)
I Think Santa Wants To Be a Pilot Too!
Matt is the future pilot in this household. The playground at Albert Whitthead airport is "his" playground and he has my friend Terrie, the president of the airport's historic society, wrapped around his little finger. So you can only imagine the utter joy that this three year old would feel when he learned that Santa owns a helicopter and would be flying in to have lunch with him! (His brother and sister were also pretty psyched :) (The reindeer are already resting up for the big day so Santa's helicopter came in quite handy!)
We had such a nice time at our Santa lunch! Terrie did an amazing job organizing lots of crafts, a delicious lunch, and a visit from the big guy. We had a nice time visiting with friends too! (Even though I didn't get any pictures of that at all!)
This picture makes me laugh so hard. Matt was so thrilled with this reindeer... he asked me to take his picture! And this is what I get!!
After lunch Terrie called all the kids outside the hanger and told them to watch sky.
It was so exciting when Santa landed!
Somehow we managed to be the VERY last people in the Santa line. I think the line went around us... That's okay though... we got some adorable pictures while waiting in line.
We had such a nice time at our Santa lunch! Terrie did an amazing job organizing lots of crafts, a delicious lunch, and a visit from the big guy. We had a nice time visiting with friends too! (Even though I didn't get any pictures of that at all!)
Danny's cutting skills are really coming along! He took wreath making quite seriously.
It was hard to tear this girl away from the craft tables! She made EVERYTHING there was to make and enjoyed every minute of it :)
This picture makes me laugh so hard. Matt was so thrilled with this reindeer... he asked me to take his picture! And this is what I get!!
After lunch Terrie called all the kids outside the hanger and told them to watch sky.
It was so exciting when Santa landed!
Somehow we managed to be the VERY last people in the Santa line. I think the line went around us... That's okay though... we got some adorable pictures while waiting in line.
Daddy and Danny
While looking for a way to kill some time the twins decided to tackle Kirsten for "LOOOOVVVVE!"
Santa was great and really took time with each of the kids. Kirsten and the big guy:
Matt totally stumped Santa. When asked what he wanted for Christmas Matt answered "a pumpkin filled with candy canes". This has been his answer for a month. (The boy really loved Halloween!) Santa laughed and said he'd have to check the back stockrooms and have the elves special order it. Matt also mentioned he'd like some play dough. Santa brightened and said, "Oh great! Then you can make a pumpkin with the Play Dough." Matt gave Santa a bit of a dirty look and, in his most serious voice, corrected Santa, "I a good boy. The ELVES can make the pumpkin. Not me. The ELVES." We died laughing and Santa promised to do his best :)
Santa was a bit more prepared for Danny's scooter request!
As soon as the kids climbed off Santa's lap, Terrie grabbed them and brought them outside. You can only imagine the excitement of our future pilot when he was put in Santa's helicopter!!
I just love the holidays. This might be my favorite Christmas ever. The kids are at PERFECT Christmas ages! (Even though I still think they are all too big ;)
While looking for a way to kill some time the twins decided to tackle Kirsten for "LOOOOVVVVE!"
Santa was great and really took time with each of the kids. Kirsten and the big guy:
Matt totally stumped Santa. When asked what he wanted for Christmas Matt answered "a pumpkin filled with candy canes". This has been his answer for a month. (The boy really loved Halloween!) Santa laughed and said he'd have to check the back stockrooms and have the elves special order it. Matt also mentioned he'd like some play dough. Santa brightened and said, "Oh great! Then you can make a pumpkin with the Play Dough." Matt gave Santa a bit of a dirty look and, in his most serious voice, corrected Santa, "I a good boy. The ELVES can make the pumpkin. Not me. The ELVES." We died laughing and Santa promised to do his best :)
Santa was a bit more prepared for Danny's scooter request!
As soon as the kids climbed off Santa's lap, Terrie grabbed them and brought them outside. You can only imagine the excitement of our future pilot when he was put in Santa's helicopter!!
I just love the holidays. This might be my favorite Christmas ever. The kids are at PERFECT Christmas ages! (Even though I still think they are all too big ;)
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