Wednesday, November 18, 2009

No one ever said it would be like this.

Kirsten,
A little over five years ago you stepped off a school bus with a backpack that was as big as you were. I remember laughing out loud at how adorable you were. I have never doubted our decision to adopt. Not for one single moment. I knew from the moment I set eyes on you, sweet girl, that you were born to be my girl.


But there are moments that I am completley overwhelmed. You are not what anyone would describe as an "easy" child. Somehow I didn't know "what I was getting in to".

No one ever told me I would spend so many sleepless nights worrying about your future.

No one told me I would have to make decisions that I feel totally unprepared to make.

No one told me how intimidating it would be to be your advocate with doctors, teachers, attorneys, and specialists.

No one ever told me that a harsh word from an eight year old would be my life's first true heartbreak.

No one ever told me how hard it would be.

I wonder why it is that no one ever told me it would be possible to love another human being so deeply, so completley, so unconditionally.

No one ever told me that when mother's say they would kill or die for their child they really mean it.

No one ever told me that you were going to change me forever and that I would never, ever be able to imagine a breath without you again.

Sometimes it amazes me that no one ever told me it would be like this.

No one told me you would be my everything... but, deep down, I know why no one ever said it would be like this. It's because there are no words to really describe a mother's love.

You have changed me, your father, our parents, our friends, and the friends of our friends more than you'll ever know.

You are my happy ending.

My journey.

My blessing.

My love.

My joy.

My daughter.

I love you so much more than I could ever put in to words.

Happy "Forever" Day.

3 comments:

Tiffany said...

What a SWEET post! Thanks for sharing and getting my day started off on the right note!!! Oh...and I am in LOVE with that Taylor Swift song....I cry everytime I hear it!!!

Nichole said...

What a beautiful message to your beautiful daughter! It was an absolute pleasure to meet her the other day!

Anonymous said...

OMG. Marcie! That was the nicest thing I've ever laid eyes on. Your a good mama and a great person!
Love,
Wendy