Saturday, December 11, 2010

I'm Gonna Miss This... I'm Gonna Want This Back

I KNOW I'm going to wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. (Yes, it's extremely cheesy to open a post with song lyrics but I don't care. It's in my head and it's true... so there.)

I was walking around Toys R Us with my mom tonight and I saw the most precious little dress. It was a sweet, knit dress with beautiful Christmas colors. It was a 3T. It was exactly what I would have thrown in my cart 5 years ago. I had to pick it up. I had to hold it... show it to my mom. "I miss these days SO much," I said wistfully. "So do I," she answered. "I would have bought that for Maureen." Maureen who is 31 years old.

It doesn't end. I know this... but this conversation made it so obvious. My longing for 5 years ago is just as strong (actually probably not as strong) as my mother's longing for 28 years ago. It doesn't end. This 'My baby started growing up and I don't like it one little bit' feeling. I know this... but I don't like knowing this.

I want to freeze them at each point in time. Today I was dying to buy a dress for my 3 year old little girl. Tonight I'd like to snuggle 6 month old twins while I watch tv. Sometimes I can't help but give in to the longing for days gone by. And they are still here!!! How crazy is that????

I've been filled with this 'I don't have babies anymore' nostalgia recently. We went to our school's "Snuggle Up and Read" on Thursday (more about that soon). Everyone wore pjs... it was fun and cute. I was totally caught up in a moment of "my babies are so big!!!". The twins sat with Kirsten in the front row for story time. They weren't afraid to sit on Santa's lap and they were singing Christmas carols. Then some woman touched Matt's pajamaed foot and said, "God, I miss those days. I loved the 'footie pj' days,". And I wanted to cry because someday I'm gonna be that lady... How unfair is that??? Someday I won't have anyone to put in footie pjs.

And so I want to reminisce, and sulk that 'then' is over and that 'now' will be over too soon, but mostly I want to soak up the elementary school days (which are quickly fading for the blond one) and the footie pj days that I will never get back... cuz I'm gonna miss this SO much.


(Super cheesy and super 'exactly what I feel right now' post.)

1 comment:

Bill, Kim, Kaitlyn, and Ryan said...

Ugh Marcie! So right there with you my friend. I think about this often. Mostly right after I turned down a game of Memory for dishes or something else dumb. These days pass so quickly. Off to snuggle and read with the baby girl, who is no longer a baby, but will always be my baby. :)